So. Now that I've got everyone all hyped up... :) Most of you know the big news anyway, and I don't know that this post is going to be anything special because I'm tired. But I have a few minutes while I wait for my clothes to dry here in the hotel laundry room, so I thought I'd try to put my thoughts down on paper. Or computer. Or whatever.
The deal is, we have been praying for a long time about our lives. The last two years have been hard...don't get me wrong, they've been good. But hard. Marc's worked two jobs for two years in which 5 nights a week he doesn't get a full night's sleep. I was pregnant, nursing, and/or taking care of a fussy fussy crankypants baby for two years. We lived paycheck to paycheck for two years. We always had enough to eat, but usually not any extra. We lived in a two bedroom house with all the above conditions for two years. It was hard, but through it all we felt God speaking to us about His providence and about learning contentment.
Contentment. Now that's a word you don't hear every day. Seems like we all want what we want, when we want it. And usually, we want it NOW. But God was asking us to wait. I wish I could say we waited patiently. Or pleasantly. So many lessons to learn! The biggest lesson I learned was that in everything there is a lesson to be learned. Ponder that one for awhile...
We had gotten to a place in our lives where we KNEW that we were following the right paths but still feeling frustrated. It's hard to continue hoping for change, putting your hope in God and Him alone, when you're not seeing any results. One day I was really struggling, and the Lord spoke to me through an old prayer notebook from 10 years ago. I saw a quote from a Sunday night church service that said, "Anything you can do on your own is not faith." Now I know that in many contexts, this quote is not entirely accurate. But for me, for that day, it was exactly what I needed to remember. That this battle wasn't mine, but God's. That He still had our best in mind. That He was the only one who could deliver. And that He would, in His timing.
God brought me to a place where I had no one else to hope in but Him. And what I learned, once my answer came, was that this was the answer. To have no other hope. The answer wasn't "give me whatever I think I need." It was learning, no matter what my situation, "to be content."
There are so many details that lead to where we are now, but I think the details mar the overall awesomeness of what happened. And what happened was....Marc lost his full-time job. Yeah, I know. Not the answer we were hoping for, exactly. But in all of it, I was able to pursue an opportunity to work for my former company in a new location, doing a job I have dreamed of doing. We prayed: "God, open the right doors wide. And slam shut the wrong doors. We only want Your will." All the doors have been opened as wide as can be, and here I am.
"Here" is Morgantown, WV. I get to work for a company I loved working for, for my old boss (in a new location), and doing what I really love. Oh, and I get to make money, too. Isn't that cool? So Marc & I are switching for awhile. He'll be the stay at home parent, able to renew his relationship with the kids, get some much-needed and much-deserved rest, and remember what it's like to feel normal again. I will get to help provide for my family in a new way. Both of us will probably go back to school (not at the same time). I'm loving my job so far, and God has blessed me in every way. I am remembering things from 2 years ago I should have forgotten, and I just feel overwhelmed and humbled at how much He loves.
We'll be moving our family here this weekend, and I get to see my kids in two days. I love the new city, and while it's not Knoxville, I know it's where we're supposed to be, so don't hate me if I have a love for it. :) It's beautiful here, and Zach is excited he gets to see snow.
So, in all this, I'm hoping that what shines through is what He has done. He hears, He answers, He loves. Hope in Him. You won't be disappointed.