So....we moved. And 4 months later, I am remembering this sad blog. I feel I've almost forgotten how to write, or even what to write about. My life is in a phase I'd like to dub "newborn job," which means that I don't sleep much and I'm working about as much as I would be spending time feeding, changing diapers, dealing with all that fun newborn stuff. I really like my job, I just would like to not spend so much time there. I'm hopeful that maybe by February I'll be working more 10 hr days and fewer 13 hr days. And by summer...who knows? The sky's the limit. Maybe one day I'll work 8-9 hr days again.
I could bore you with all kinds of stories about myself, but tonight I need to make it short and kinda sweet. I've had enough of my own whining this week so I want to be more positive today. We moved to a great new city into an amazing house. It's about 1600 square feet I think, which is approximately 35% bigger than our last apartment. We have the best fenced in backyard with shade trees in just the right places, but plenty of sunny areas for the occasional baby swimming pool and slip-n-slide. I am, from the bottom of my heart, so grateful for this home. For the first time in a long time, I feel we are making a home somewhere and not just surviving. (at least most days!)
If I choose to be positive and thankful, I will admit to myself that though our situation is a bit strange, I know that God has His hand on the whole thing. He was the one who orchestrated this whole move and He has blessed it. As much as I would ADORE to stay home full time with my children and be a home maker, that is most obviously not His plan for me. So I have to embrace with my whole self the fact that He has other ideas. (this is one of those "easier said than done" kind of things, in case you were wondering....) But the thankful part of me says that it is amazing that Marc gets to stay home with our children, and build so many fun memories with them. And the thankful part of me is grateful to even have a home with hardwood floors that echo every tiny noise so that I can't sleep in past 7 am.
Long story short, I am thankful. And grateful, and blessed, and honored that God has even chosen me to do anything for Him, in His Name. The days when I feel dishonored at work, like I have no purpose....I can choose to believe the same things I would believe if I were a full time mom/homemaker and struggling with the fact that "no one sees" what I do all day or the significance of it. I choose to believe that whatever thing I do, great or small, significant or insignificant, easy or difficult, if I do it for Christ and for His Name's sake, nothing is lost.