More faith. I need it.

I thought it was time to finally post a few pics. This is my "baby" who is now almost 17 months old. Look at those curls! She's a daddy-lookalike.
Sweet sister time on the couch.

My 3 beauties. I love them!!!

Since I am trying to blog at least twice a month (and I failed already in January!), I figured I'd better try to catch up a bit. Nothing too exciting to share here. We're having our share of rough days with these young ones...and sometimes rough nights too. Our youngest is not the best sleeper and we haven't figured out how to fix it. You would think after 2 other kids (1 of them being colicky) that we would know what to do. Sigh.

I feel so content in many ways, and discontented in other ways. I love where we are, love our home, love the satisfaction I feel in my job, love watching my kids grow up and learn lots of stuff. But I feel just as un-sure in the number of hours I have to put into my job...knowing that am missing almost all of their days. That stuff is hard to swallow. Knowing my husband is feeling a lot of the same, wishing he was out working and I was home with the kids. It's strange how we both have the same desire, and yet God has made it so clear that our current situation is what He wants for our lives. Despite how we feel about it. Like I said, it's tough to swallow.

I'm reading about Abraham and Sarah lately. When you really think about it, the stuff that happened to Abraham is just plain weird compared to our current lifestyles. I think we have gotten so used to hearing the Bible stories over and over, that the reality of what actually went on doesn't strike us the way it should. For instance, God called Abraham to leave his family and "go to a place I will show you." No maps, no plans, just "follow me." People just don't do that kind of stuff anymore.

And then the whole thing about Sarah not being able to have children, and yet years prior to Isaac being born, God promised them that they would have a son. Imagine the hope and the thoughts of the future they had!! They went to bed the night after receiving that promise, feeling like God had finally heard them...He was finally going to come through for them...a son would be born!! And then YEARS pass, and Nothing. What's up with that? Sure, I know eventually Isaac was born, and it was still definitely a miracle. But what about those waiting years?

Don't get me started on the story of Abraham bringing his almost-grown son on a journey, telling him, "we're going to worship." And having Isaac carry the wood for the sacrifice....little knowing he would be that sacrifice. I wonder a lot if Abraham felt like I would have felt, that every step he took was painful and sacrificial. Or maybe he had tons more faith than me, and he didn't question at all?

At any rate, all these stories don't seem to fit with God, and yet they do. I think the problem is that we have gotten so far away from who God really is. Too far from what He really wants us to be doing, because we're too concerned with what WE want. Who's to say that God couldn't/wouldn't do things like that in our lives, now? We don't depend on Him like Abraham did...I don't, anyway. Oh, to have the faith of Abraham!!! The Bible said that "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness." That must have been some pretty powerful believing.

As I read the Old Testament, I'm praying that I would have ears to hear what He is really trying to say to us. These aren't just stories anymore....they really happened. Read it slowly, think about what if that were you in the story? How would you feel? What would you be thinking? What would you tell your family if you were the one that God told to leave everything and travel to a place you didn't know?

Something to ponder....

To my favorite man in the whole world....

This post has been in my head for awhile now...I love you and still, all these years later, can't believe you picked me.

• When you open up Goldfish bags, you make the bag into a little spout which makes the snack come out better with no mess. I'm not sure if you do this for me, or if you just like it that way. But it makes me happy.


• You are the king of knowing fascinating random facts about everything...and you teach our children to love randomness. It makes them look at the world in a whole different way. I love that.


• You like my cooking, or at least have pretended to for 12+ years. Even when I have the annoying habit of critiquing my own cooking each and every time, you just smile and say "it's good." Steady...I like that.


• You know things. Like the time when I was afraid to tell you I was pregnant with baby #3--pregnancy #8--because it was not in our plans and I knew how much it worried you. I was nauseated by the corn you made for dinner and pushed it around on my plate. And you said, "You need to eat that corn. It's good for the baby." And then you said you already knew I was pregnant because of my voice on the phone a few days earlier. The knowing you have about everything drives me insane...yet it grounds me, here with you forever.


• Life with you is never boring. I never know what you have planned for the day but almost always it's something I would not have thought of. Your love of adventure dragged me onto a train halfway across the country for vacation....and has master plans to drag me back for retirement to your blessed Chamberlain. I hope I like it there.


• You see beauty in things I never can. Lining up cars and taking close up pictures of them on the carpet. Arranging decks of cards and playing dramatic music while videoing the whole thing....and then laughing your head off when your video's panning out just so happens to occur at the grand finale of whatever soundtrack you love at the moment.


• Still you boss me around, but only when I need it. You give me room to grow and change, yet reel me in when I need some boundaries. I feel safe with you.


• You love my heritage, carefully packing and unpacking the precious Ukrainian Easter Eggs my great-grandmother made, and gently reminding me that it's time to keep up my skill of pierogie-making to keep it in the family. Our home is filled with things that are precious to us but have little value to the rest of the world...and I like it that way.


• When I first met you, you wore Jnco's to church instead of dressing up with the rest of us. You somehow convinced me that God didn't care what we were wearing and I became proud of your comfy flannel shirts and crazy wide leg jeans. I still think you'd look good in a pair of those....(I thought of this yesterday when I laughed at my jeans attire during church!)


• You love me. And I love you. Forever. Thanks for never making me doubt it.