Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A moment to ponder

I'm feeling a little sad this afternoon. This Friday was the due date of our last little baby that didn't make it...though I know I'll be giving birth to my precious Kenna in (hopefully) 7 weeks or less, I still think about the four little ones we've lost who are already in heaven being held by Jesus.

It's a hard feeling to explain to those who have never been in our place. Yet in a way, I would never wish that anyone would truly understand because to do that means they would have had to go through the pain we went through as well.

I look at pictures of children of family & friends & think, "oh, this one would be this age by now"...and though I know our losses were early ones, the wondering about these children of ours will probably never end for me--whether girl/boy, what kind of personality they would have, how much joy they would have added to our lives. There is no way to know these things in earth's realm. But I am comforted by this:

The Scripture says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Ps 139:13-16)

I know that each of these precious children were thought about in the mind of God before they were conceived and were ordained to be a part of our lives for however short a time. All His works are wonderful...

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