Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The heart of the matter

I've been thinking a lot these past few weeks about infertility. I guess that's weird since I just had a baby, but with all our difficulty in carrying our 2 babies to term and grieving the 4 we've lost, it's just been on my mind.

I've also been grieving (sorry can't think of a better word for it that that) my loss of a natural childbirth with both my kids. I'm sure that seems weird, too--in some ways it does to me since the goal is a healthy baby & mom and that was our end result with both kids. But I still feel like I've been cheated having to have 2 c-sections. It's just something I'm working through, I guess.

All this to say that I came across this post about Guarding our Hearts at Keeper of the Home that really ministered to me. It's helping me understand some things about myself a little more...and about what God wants to do in my life despite the trials I've gone through (or things I thought were trials but really weren't). Thought-provoking stuff.

1 comment:

Holly said...

I completely understand. After losing three babies we had given up on having a child. When I found out I was pregnant the 4th time I was scared something would happen the whole time. My daughter was born healthy and I love her very much, but I do still grieve for the three babies I lost. Now my husband is talking about having another and I'm scared to try again because I don't know if I could handle losing another.