(this is not from any member of my family or anyone I know...)
"My dad is a pastor. One Sunday morning as he was guest preaching at another church, he realized that his pants zipper was unzipped. This church had a clear acrylic podium, so he couldn't step behind the podium to zip up his pants. So he kept preaching while looking for a way to subtly zip up his pants. Then he noticed the American flag sitting on one side of the stage. (You know, old school baptist churches with the American Flag on one side and the Christian Flag on the other side) He walked over to the flag, somehow managed to add a little patriotic twist to his sermon, and zipped up his pants. But his zipper got caught in the tassels on the flag. And he was stuck. Zipper 1/2 way down, tangled to the flag. By now, he was sweating, and trying inconspicuously to wrestle with the flag tassels. Realizing there was no way out, he managed to keep the patriotic twist in the rest of his sermon (thank you, Lord, for quick thinking - and strong arm muscles to carry the flag for the rest of the sermon) and then told the congregation that he "thought it would be patriotic to all process out of the church like the kids in VBS do." He finished his sermon, led the entire church in the "procession" out (all while carrying the flag) and untangled his zipper. All without anyone in the congregation being any the wiser."